OK...I admit I am weired!  When something is wrong with me I do a ton...I mean a TON of research...and usually it makes me feel better.  The fear of the unknown is so much worse that knowing what is actually wrong.

Let's take my migraines for instance.  They scared the bejeebers out of me.  During my 2nd pregnancy they were so bad I would have TIAs.  Basically mini strokes.  The right side of my body would go completely numb...and I could no longer feel the baby move.  Very scary stuff.  Once it was explained exactly what was going on, I knew everything was ok, and it stopped bothering me so badly.

Now, they barely even stop me.  The pain isn't any less, I just know that it will pass soon and try by best to pretend nothing is wrong. Rarely do I have to stop what I am doing when a migraine strikes, even though I still have them almost daily.(except for reading...I still can't 'will' myself to be able to read when I can't really see...LOL)

When the doctors say surgery, I do as much research as I possibly can.  I go into the first meeting with the surgeon being able to almost know everything they are going to say.  I know the terminology, I am prepared.

For example, my rotator cuff surgery.  I did so much research that I even knew the percentage of women my age having the surgery and their expected outcomes.  I knew how much pain to expect and how long of a recovery time I would experience.  Knowing this made the recovery time less painful than I believe it would have been and much shorter.  I was able to stop pain meds after the first week.  Doc had wanted me to stay on them for at least a month.  The only real problems I experienced was the physical torture...sorry I mean physical therapy that I had to go through for 8 weeks!

Same for my wrist and lumpectomy.  Being prepared makes it less scary.

So, how come this neck surgery thing is scaring me more than reassuring me?  I have a copy of both MRIs (lumbar - which we are doing nothing about; and cervical).  I have the report from both.  I have researched each and every term that is used in the report and know pretty much what it is saying.  I can look at the scans and see 90% of what the report is saying.  ( it is funny, knowing what you are SUPPOSED to be seeing makes it oh so easy to actually see it!)

I guess my problem is that there is no 'title' to what is wrong, making it harder to know what they will be doing to fix it.  The report actually gives 4 different names to what my current condition is.  Although they are similar, and are treated in a similar fashion, there is enough of a difference to make a large cone of uncertainty.

The surgery can range from minimally invasive, removing the offending bone spurs; to removing the actual vertebrae and replacing with bone grafts and metal plates.  Hospital stays range from out patient to a hospital stay of 48 hours ...or more.  Recovery time is from 2 weeks to 6 months!

Now, how am I supposed to prepare for that much of a difference??!!

I don't like surprises.  I want to know going in if I should be fearful or relaxed.

Then, there is the stuff that the first doctor DIDN'T tell me about.  Like the evidence of "an arachnoid cyst in the supracerebellar cistern"..trust me, you don't want to know what this is!  LOL

So, on Tuesday, I will either be comfortably prepared or horrendously scared.


Nini